Your Seriousness Is Killing You: Try a Playful Growth Mindset Instead

By Penny Louise

What if you really don't have to be taking life as seriously as you have been? Imagine if the struggles, the triumphs, the mundane, and the extraordinary are all part of a tapestry of playful scenarios for you to learn to respond to with playful curiosity?

Imagine navigating through life with the curiosity of a child, embracing each experience as an opportunity for learning, joy, and playful exploration.

If there is one sentence I wish you to start using every time something happens in life it's this:

"Oh, isn't that interesting"

Be a curious observer of your life.

In our quest for happiness, many of us find ourselves chasing joy, believing it’s something we must attain in a location outside of ourselves, whether it's in money, possessions or other people. When life throws us off course or doesn’t meet our expectations, frustration often follows. It’s like a child throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get the ice cream they wanted—something that, from an adult’s view, seems trivial.

But what if, instead of getting upset, we could pause and remember that life has its own rhythm? I like to think whenever I throw my own tantrums that my expectations aren't met, there is a higher loving awareness watching us from afar, laughing gently, and saying, “Why is she so serious? Doesn’t she know this isn’t the end of the world? Doesn’t she see that what she thought she wanted isn’t what she needed?” Just as a child can’t see beyond the moment of their disappointment, we often miss the bigger picture of our own lives.

We’re all guided by egos and emotions that create a bubble around our reality, blinding us to the wider view. It’s completely normal to feel this way—it’s part of being human. Even the wisest among us need guidance and perspective. After all, even a therapist needs a therapist.

Choosing Play: The Power of a Growth Mindset

We might feel very powerless in life at times but we all have one very powerful tool at our disposal: We have choice. We can choose how we respond to the world around us.

It is easy to see ourselves as victims of circumstances and be filled with resentment. But when we chose to change that perspective - that is liberating. We can then see how abundant we can become by holding difficulties as opportunities for immersive evolution and learning for the self and this perspective of play is indestructible.

It's not about achieving a mindset that can be used to escape or detach, but: How can I engage with this for the betterment of my evolution? We can ask for situations to help us grow and they often will come as gifts of suffering.

So, what if the key to transforming our experience was simply agreeing to see life as a game? Life presents us with countless situations that invite us to evolve, and how we engage with them determines the extent to which we grow and change. It’s often easier to evolve through suffering and hardship and that is the beautiful dichotomy of life. But joy can also exist within challenges—if we choose to see it.

Remember: we can only control how we respond to life, not the circumstances themselves. Waiting for the world to change before we find joy is a never ending game. Happiness and joy aren’t external; they are always internal. When joy feels absent, it’s not because we haven’t achieved something; it’s simply that we've blocked ourselves from connecting with our own capacity for joy.

An instant state change

I for one often get wrapped up and forget to play sometimes. I forget that my life is not so serious. However you can achieve an instant state change simple through understanding that you are a human being having human experiences and to step outside of yourself as an observer and look at your avatar and say this to yourself (with your name):

"[your name] is experiencing [this] right now. He/she is on this planet right now to learn the lesson of [this], I wonder what is going to happen! How interesting that this situation has come up in this way for him/her right now. This is his/her journey in life, it is not anyone else's, and therefore what a precious gift in the form of this situation. This is an opportunity he/she has been given, I wonder what will happen next"

Life as Play: A Timeless Teaching

The idea of life as play is not a new-age concept. It’s been embraced by wisdom traditions, philosophers, and spiritual teachings across cultures for centuries. Wise masters are always such playful beings. Here’s a look at some of these perspectives:

• Hinduism: Lila, or divine play, suggests that the universe itself is a playful expression of the divine. Life is not a series of tests or tasks but a creative unfolding where each moment is filled with meaning and joy.

  
  

• Taoism: Taoism encourages living in harmony with the natural flow of life, often described as a dance or a game. By aligning with the Tao, we learn to move through life with spontaneity, releasing the burden of control and surrendering to the playful unfolding of existence.

  
  

• Zen Buddhism: Zen teachings often use humour and paradox to highlight deep truths about existence. Zen masters use playful stories and riddles to show that wisdom is not about seriousness, but about being present and seeing the humour and beauty in every moment.

  
  

• Western Philosophy: Thinkers like Alan Watts have championed the idea of life as a game. Watts argued that we are not separate from the universe but integral to its playful unfolding. Life is not about outcomes but about the joy of participation.

  
  

Why Embrace Playfulness?

Adopting a playful growth mindset can bring profound benefits to your well-being. Here’s why embracing life as play can transform your experience:

• Stress Reduction: When life is seen as a game, challenges are transmuted from intimidation to opportunity. Instead of fearing failure, you can approach obstacles with curiosity and creativity, transforming stress into a sense of adventure.

  
  

• Enhanced Creativity: Play unlocks imagination and inspires innovation. Whether solving problems or exploring new hobbies, a playful approach encourages creativity and self-expression.

  
  

• Improved Relationships: Approaching others with playfulness fosters collaboration and mutual understanding. Viewing people as co-players rather than attackers reduces conflict and enhances connection and overall your compassion capacity. Love is understanding.

  
  

• Personal Growth: Play allows us to make mistakes and learn without fear. In the world of play, there’s no need for perfection—only exploration. This freedom helps us embrace life’s unfolding with acceptance and openness.

  
  

Practical Ways to Integrate Play into Your Life

Incorporating play into your daily life doesn’t require grand gestures. Here are some simple ways to cultivate a more playful approach:

1. Adopt a Curious Mindset: Curiosity is the essence of play. Rather than labelling experiences as “good” or “bad,” approach them with openness. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” or “Has similar themes come up before? If so, what am I still not seeing which is coming up this time?”

   
   

2. Practice Mindfulness: Play thrives in the present moment. Mindfulness helps you connect with life as it is, without judgment. Throughout the day, no matter what you are doing, talk about yourself in the third person: [your name] is eating, talking, or simply walking, being mindful allows you to experience life fully.

   
   

3. Reframe Challenges: Life’s obstacles can feel overwhelming, but they don’t have to. View challenges as puzzles to be solved or games to be played. This shift in perspective can make even the toughest situations more manageable.

   
   

4. Revisit Joyful Activities: What activities brought you joy as a child? Whether it’s drawing, dancing, or exploring nature, rediscovering these activities reconnects you with your playful spirit.

   
   

5. Laugh Often: Humour is one of the easiest ways to foster playfulness. Surround yourself with things that make you laugh—whether it’s jokes, funny movies, or silly games. Embracing humour lightens your mood and helps you navigate life with a lighter heart. Avoid horror or anything that you cannot foster a lighter energy through.

   
   

6. Explore Self-Discovery Tools: Practices like hypnotherapy, visualisation, and meditation can help you release old patterns that block playfulness. These tools offer a safe space to explore your inner world and make room for more joy.

   
   

Bringing It All Together

When you embrace life as play, even the most ordinary or difficult moments take on new meaning. Instead of striving for perfection or endlessly chasing goals, you can savour the journey. Life becomes a playful adventure where challenges are opportunities for growth, and every interaction is part of the dance.

Imagine seeing your career as an evolving game, your relationships as joyful collaborations, and your personal growth as a creative experiment. By viewing life through the lens of play, you can navigate its complexities with ease, presence, and joy.

Are you ready to transform your life into a playful adventure? Hypnotherapy can help you practice this playful mindset by detaching from expectations to shed old patterns, reconnect with your authentic self, and step into a more joyful existence. Book a session today and begin your journey of playful discovery.