Why You Keep Revisiting Old Wounds: Insights from the Healing Spiral to Help Your Personal Development
- Penny Louise
- Jan 2
- 4 min read
By Penny Louise
Have you ever caught yourself wondering why the same emotional struggles keep coming back, even though you were so sure you’d moved past them? If you have, you’re far from alone. It’s one of the most frustrating questions many of us face on the path to self-awareness and personal growth. The answer often lies in what I like to call “the healing spiral.”
The Healing Spiral: What It Means for Personal Development
Healing and personal growth rarely follow a straight path. It’s not about ticking off boxes or moving from “broken” to “fixed.” Instead, healing works more like a spiral—cycles that draw us deeper into self-understanding and acceptance. At first, it can feel like you’re going in circles, but each turn of the spiral brings new clarity, strength, and insight.
You may have heard of people saying that they're spiralling when referring to depression, but it’s also true for healing - just spiralling upwards!
But what if spiralling could be a good thing? Imagine a spiral staircase. As you climb, it might feel like you’re returning to the same place again and again. But each time, you’re seeing it from a higher vantage point, with tools you developed last time but able to see areas that might need more attention. If you start treating it like this then the problem will get smaller and smaller rather that just as painful as the last time.
The healing spiral reminds us that personal development happens in layers. It’s a gradual process, much like peeling an onion—each layer revealing something deeper. And thankfully, it allows us to process things piece by piece, making the journey manageable.
Why Healing Feels Like Déjà Vu
The cyclical nature of healing can make it seem like we’re stuck in a loop. But here’s the truth: each time we revisit an old wound, we’re given a chance to:
See it differently: What once felt overwhelming might now reveal hidden insights because you’ve grown emotionally.
Strengthen your tools: Every cycle helps you refine your coping strategies and emotional responses.
Show yourself compassion: Revisiting pain offers an opportunity to let go of judgment and treat yourself with kindness.
For instance, you might feel triggered by a comment that reminds you of an old hurt. At first, your reaction might be raw or defensive. But as you progress through the spiral, you’ll notice a shift. Instead of reacting, you start pausing, reflecting, and responding in ways that feel more aligned with your growth. That’s progress—not regression.
How to Work with the Healing Spiral
If you’re ready to lean into this process, here are some practical ways to embrace the healing spiral for personal development:
Recognise the Signs of Deeper Healing
Triggers and recurring emotions often signal that you’re peeling back another layer. Instead of resisting, get curious:
Why is this coming up now?
What have I learned since the last time I faced this?
Is there something deeper for me to see that I didn't see before?
How can I approach it differently?
Is there another memory associated that I need to connect to?
What else is there for me to see?
Celebrate Small Wins
Progress isn’t always obvious, but it’s there. Maybe you responded with more patience or let go a little quicker this time. Those moments matter—celebrate them.
Be Gentle with Yourself Healing isn’t a race. Give yourself permission to move at your own pace, taking breaks when you need them. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a close friend.
Reframe Setbacks Rather than seeing repeated challenges as failures, think of them as opportunities to deepen your understanding. You’re not stuck—you’re spiralling upward.
My Journey with the Healing Spiral
For the longest time, I thought healing was a one-and-done process. I’d address an issue, feel closure, and assume I was free of it forever. Then, months or even years later, the same pain would resurface, and I’d feel like a failure. “Why am I still dealing with this?” I’d think.
But the healing spiral shifted my perspective. Each time an old wound reopened, it came with a lesson: how to set boundaries, how to use rejection as protection, or how to love myself more deeply. Gradually, my mindset shifted. Instead of dreading these moments, I started to approach them with curiosity. “Oh, this again? What do you have to teach me this time?” That shift—from frustration to playful curiosity—changed everything.
The biggest takeaway? Healing doesn’t erase your past; it transforms your relationship with it. Your experiences don’t disappear, but their grip on your present weakens. True freedom doesn’t come from rejecting your past—it comes from integrating it into who you are. The great paradox is that in order to get rid of trauma you have to accept it as part of you.
Self-Love: The Heart of the Spiral
At its core, the healing spiral is about self-love. Without it, it’s easy to fall into patterns of self-criticism or avoidance when old wounds resurface. But self-love helps you reframe those moments into opportunities for growth. It encourages you to:
Reclaim your agency in the healing process.
Honour the progress you’ve made.
Choose kindness over self-judgment.
Self-love transforms healing from a task into an act of devotion. It’s about showing up for yourself, over and over, no matter how many layers there are to uncover.
The Spiral and Your Relationships
The healing spiral doesn’t just impact your relationship with yourself—it also affects how you connect with others. As you heal, you gain clarity about your triggers and patterns, which allows you to:
Communicate more openly and authentically.
Set boundaries that reflect your values.
Break cycles of codependency or people-pleasing.
Attract healthier, more supportive relationships.
You might even find it easier to forgive, let go, or approach relationships with fresh perspectives as you spiral upward.
Trust the Process
Healing isn’t linear, and that’s okay. Each turn of the spiral brings you closer to your most authentic, resilient self. So, the next time an old wound resurfaces, take a deep breath. You’re not starting over—you’re spiralling upward, growing stronger and wiser with every turn.
If you’re ready to explore your own healing spiral, I’d love to help. Hypnotherapy can uncover the patterns holding you back and guide you through each layer of healing with clarity and compassion. Book a session today, and take the next step in your journey.
