Suffering Connects Us All - Heres How To Turn Yours Into Purpose

By Penny Louise

How much loss have you experienced in life? Losing loved ones, jobs, our sense of self? Have you ever felt like no one arounds you can understand the depths of what you're feeling? Read to the end to try a life changing challenge to change your story, but first, let me tell you the story of 'The Mustard Seed'.

A grieving mother goes to the Buddha and asks him: "Please bring my son back to life?" The Buddha responds: "Of course I will, but before I can, you must go and bring me a mustard seed from a household that has never known loss". She searches far and wide, going from house to house but couldn't find anywhere that was free from suffering loss. She realised that suffering is everywhere.

This story reminds us that pain is not something that happens to only a select unlucky few; it’s the rule. To be human is to experience suffering. Suffering often comes from the expectation that we won't suffer. But if we choose to acknowledge it, suffering is the starting point for growth, connection, and purpose.

In this post, we’ll explore how suffering shapes us, how it connects us, and how it gives us the tools to help others. Because, as Ram Dass said,

“We’re all just walking each other home.”

The Universality of Suffering

Suffering is the great equaliser. It doesn’t discriminate based on age, wealth, or status. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a devastating diagnosis, or the weight of emotional trauma, pain touches us all.

In The Mustard Seed, the mother’s journey reveals a profound truth: nobody is untouched or goes through life without loss. Every person in the world carries pain. This realisation can be both heartbreaking and comforting. Heartbreaking because it reminds us of the fragility of life, and comforting because it shows us we’re never truly alone. Either way, suffering and pain can give more than what it takes away and if used correctly, can be channeled into connecting and helping others.

When we acknowledge that suffering is universal, we begin to see it not as a punishment or a curse, but as a shared human experience. It’s where we all meet. It’s where we connect. No matter how different our lives are, we all connect and we learn empathy because of our shared experiences.

Writing Our Own Stories

While we can’t control the pain that comes our way, we can control how we respond to it. Suffering doesn’t have to be the end of our story—it can be the beginning of a new chapter.

Think about the people who have hurt you. Maybe it was a parent, a partner, or a friend. While their actions may have triggered pain within you, they also taught you something. Perhaps they showed you what you don’t want to be, or they revealed your own strength and resilience.

In a strange way, the people who have traumatised us can also be our greatest teachers. They give us the tools to help others who are walking similar paths. Your pain becomes a bridge, connecting you to someone else who needs to know they’re not alone.

We need to accept that we all carry traumas and pain - these aren't excuses to fall into victim hood. What if everyone in the world did that? If we all have triggers and pain within we need to accept - this is the lessons within me in this lifetime. Other people have their versions and these are mine. No body goes through life without any - so what am I going to do about mine?

The Gift of Empathy

Have you ever noticed how some of the most beautiful souls are the ones who have been through the most? They’re the ones who’ve faced illness, loss, or disability and emerged with a deep sense of empathy and purpose.

These individuals don’t just survive their pain—they use it to help others. They become advocates, mentors, and healers. Their suffering magnifies their humanity, allowing them to connect with others on a profound level.

This is the gift of empathy. It’s born from pain, but it grows into something beautiful. When you’ve walked through hell, you gain a unique ability to guide others through their own darkness.

Pain as a Catalyst for Growth

Suffering has a way of stripping away the superficial and revealing what truly matters. It forces us to confront our fears, our limitations, and our deepest desires.

In the process, we grow. We become stronger, wiser, and more compassionate. We learn to appreciate the small joys in life—a kind word, a warm hug, a moment of peace.

This growth isn’t just for us; it’s for others, too. When we heal, we gain something to give. Our pain becomes a source of strength, not just for ourselves, but for everyone we encounter.

More growth is found in suffering, in change and in mistakes and loss.

We’re All Just Walking Each Other Home

At the end of the day, life is a journey. And while we may walk different paths, we’re all headed toward the same destination. Along the way, we’ll experience joy, love, and connection—but we’ll also face pain, loss, and heartbreak. We see this reflected in each other. Just like we experience pain from people, we also cause pain, and we help each other process that pain and grow.

The beauty of this journey is that we don’t have to walk it alone. Our pain connects us. It reminds us of our shared humanity. And it gives us the opportunity to be there for one another.

Conclusion

Suffering is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be the end of your story. Like the mother in The Mustard Seed, you’ll discover that pain is universal—but so is healing.

Your pain is the bridge where we all meet. It’s where we connect. And it’s where we grow. Every challenge you face, every tear you shed, and every lesson you learn is a gift—not just for you, but for everyone whose path you cross.

So, the next time you feel weighed down by your suffering, remember this: We are not alone. Your pain is part of a larger story, one that connects you to the rest of humanity. And through that connection, you have the power to heal, to grow, and to help others do the same.

Challenge

Try writing out your life story, all the suffering you've experienced and the pain you've felt along the way. Then when you're done, write it again, but from the perspective of someone who has found meaning in life because of those events. Write it like your life is a success story! This is how we change our story.

Start your journey